I only applied to some CSUs about a month ago and I already got an acceptance letter. I thought acceptance letters came in like at March? Haha, anyway. When I came home, I saw a letter for me from CSU Fullerton. I was kind of confused because I was thinking, "I already got a receipt from them, why are they sending me another letter?" I opened it and the first sentence said something with the word Congratulations in it and I was like, omygosh! I got accepted! haha, it was a very exciting moment, and my dad was there with me so yeah. Now, I'm satisfied knowing that I won't have to go to a community college if everyone else rejects me, haha!

For the past couple of days in English, in small groups of 4 or 5, we had to reenact a scene from Macbeth, modernizing it. My group went today and I had to play the part as one of the witches. It was ridiculously embarrassing because I had to talk in a funny/creepy voice so I can get extra points. Oh my goodness, people were laughing. I actually wanted people to laugh though, because when I saw other groups go, I noticed that if the room is quiet, it's just awkward, but if people are laughing, it just lightens the mood. So, I guess I was relieved with that but I was so nervous and omigad, I just hate public speaking and stuff like this augfjdask OTL

I'm about 5,000+ words behind on NaNoWriMo because of the stupid SAT I took over the weekend! I am very sad. I also think I did horrible on them. I totally give up on SATs, they sock >:U

I like my English class. I may not like the subject itself, but I love my classmates this year. Everyone is so cool and funny, it's always so fun to have that class. For the first 10 weeks of school, I really enjoyed sitting next to who I was sitting next to. Sure, there was a seating chart but I made new friends and I absolutely loved the group work we always did together.
Then, yesterday, we got new seating charts. I was devastated, I have never enjoyed sitting next to certain people so much before in my life. When we got to the new seats, I ended up sitting right in between the two class clowns. At first, I didn't really mind and thought that it might just be a chance for new friends, no biggie right? It was really not that big of a deal, they joke around and I laugh. Sure, sometimes they'd make fun of me but it was just for laughs.

( Then, the bad stuff started happening... )

Also, today was the premiere of a new show called V. I saw the commercial for it and thought that maybe I should get into a new tv series. The only series I ever really got into that wasn't a cartoon was Heroes. I've fallen so behind in that series that I just gave up on it. V (visitor), is about aliens who come to Earth, providing new technology in return for our resources such as water. In the first episode, so much as already happened, such as suspicions of the aliens and what their real plan could be. It's really exciting, a little cliche with the aliens, but bearable. Every Tuesday, 8pm on abc, watch it :D.

I am not a music person and I don't have a specific type that I listen to. I just listen to whatever's on. I don't even know some of the very popular artists aside from the ones that stir up the tabloids.

I was watching Cartoon Network last night (lol) for the new Ben10 episode (lol even more) and they were promoting a song called A Little Faster by There For Tomorrow for the upcoming live action Ben10 movie. I had to look them up and they were this little known band from Hopeless Records. I ended up looking at the other bands and yeah, I want some CDs now...

I own absolutely no CDs except for 4 from the same Korean artist.
I must buy these before the year ends. Or something I don't know haha. Just posting them up so I won't forget at some point.

 My mouth hurts so much.

Two of my bottom wisdom teeth were pulled out today not because they were hurting, but because food kept getting stuck in there and it was always a pain to try and get it out. So anyway, I got them pulled out through surgery and after the numb medication wore off, it started hurting so bad. It's so sore inside my mouth and it's almost impossible to even swallow my own spit without it hurting. Also, it takes me like 30 minutes to try and eat 6 pieces of french fries because i can't use my side teeth, just the front. I guess the only positive thing about that is that I eat smaller portions of food because I get full easily by eating painfully slow.

Also, I have to take two types of pain relievers about 7 times a day total.

 So many things to do just to apply for colleges. I dread it.

My school likes to brag about how smart we are. The students and the faculty always say what GENIUSES we are and it annoys the heck out of me. I understand the teachers and counselors getting up in our face about colleges but I HATE how all of the seniors are so full of themselves. For example, all of the seniors at my school LOVE to say how we're the smartest class in school. Well dur, we are the seniors, idk what the heck they're thinking, comparing ourselves to the freshman?....??? Also, they also ADORE constantly saying over and over about how "it's the hardest year for students to apply to colleges because colleges are assholes and blah blah blah." So, basically, you're just saying that it's going to be a thousand times harder to get into a college this year compared to all of the previous years... just because? I thought you guys were supposed to be smart, stop saying all of this useless junk and do your research. Yes, I do understand that this year, it is exceptionally hard to get in because of college budget cuts BUT your reasons are because "everyone in California are geniuses and we're all competing with them." buh

It's the 7th week of school. I think I already have 3 B's. It's actually okay, considering it's me we're talking about. But some of the A's that I have are very border-line and I think it'll drop during the semester.


I tried a biscotti with coffee for the first time today. It was delicious.

 I have been a member on DA for about 3 years. It may not seem like a long time but... it's a long time. I first joined when my drawings were just sketchy anime wannabe things. My coloring was ugly and I had no idea what I was doing with my tablet when I first got it. I looked up to so many artists on DA, trying to be like them. I wanted the fame, I wanted the pageviews, and I wanted all the comments. I don't know. I'm pretty sure a lot of people on DA think this way. My strategy was simple, draw bunch of fanarts that people like and get views. Sounds easy. So I did... I gained some views and for the first time, experienced art theft and flames. I don't know, the stuff I was drawing stopped making me happy, as in, I wasn't interested in the fandom anymore. I decided to just go back to drawing whatever I wanted but... I couldn't do it. I already gained views and watchers due to drawing this one specific thing and if I suddenly changed to something else, they would hate it/stop watching me.

I was unhappy, so after 2 years on my first account, I moved to a new one.

On this new account, I decided, "Okay! I'm going to start fresh! I'll draw what I want. My skills have improved and I don't have to give into drawing what people demand!" lol... It was bound to happen. I went straight back to drawing fanarts for views and wanted the watchers. Now, I made all these "friends" and views that made me happy for a short while and then, I again got bored of the fandom. After just 1 year on this account, I want to leave it for another again.

I don't know what's wrong with me lol. I have this problem with displeasing people or idk, disappointing these "friends" that I'm not even close with. I don't know why I'm making this all serious and dramatic. I could just draw whatever I want and those "friends" would just naturally leave+move on. ffff

 Sophmore year, my friend tells me I have a class with this one guy. She says to meet him and be friends with him because he's a cool guy. But oh noes, he's totally racist against Koreans just because one girl he liked WHO HAPPENED TO BE KOREAN didn't like him back. So I just avoid him, whatever, no big deal.

Junior year, I'm in the same art class as him but didn't really meet him yet. We eventually started talking due to our circle of friends in the class growing larger. He imediately treats me like an idiot becuase he's such an awesome artist and I'm an amatuer. I ignore it and think it's just the way he is, and it is. Later on, he figures out that I'm Korean and suddenly starts treating me like crap. Okay. It's not like I'm a super close friend or hang around him that much, so I ignore it. End of junior year, he becomes president of art club and I'm treasurer.

Senior year. He still treats me like crap. He thinks I'm stupid. I'm pretty sure he believes that I don't deserve the position. He scolds me because he thought that I forgot we had a club meeting. I didn't forget you dumbass, I was waiting for the other officers and cabinet members... I don't see you yelling at them and calling them idiots. The co-vice-presidents are idiots, they never contribute anything to the club and just fool around during the meetings yet he does nothing about it.

What do you have against me? I really did NOTHING to you! 

 Budget cuts.
My school has them.

So I think everyone in my school has noticed a huge difference. The budget cuts! NONE of the teachers will print anything out for us. Homework? Just go on their website and print that huge 20 paged packet out! No problem! I AM SO FRUSTRATED! For the longest time, I've always had a personal problem with printing things, just in general. I think it's just way too much of a waste to print anything. Ink is so expensive so I always do my best to conserve what I print. But, jeez! Some of my teachers, actually, just one, REQUIRES US TO PRINT SO MUCH STUFF EVERYDAY! Last week he made us print just about 15 pages, and that was the first week! This week we're working on a lab and we have to print this 7 paged whatever and 5 additional pages for a lab. This is freakin madness! This isn't even a hard class! It's anatomy regulars, why does he require us to print so much crap? I would think that a lot of printing would only be required in a hard class or something. Like physics. A lot of my friends who have that class had to literally print something that stacked up to 3.5 inches over the weekend! Goodness! Are all of these papers really that important? fdjslfasl Ink is just so expensive D: It makes me mad...

Also, the things I'm supposed to print today are 7 pages. My printer ran out of color and black ink a few days ago so I told my dad to buy me some black ink, which was 20 dollars??? But, my printer refuses to print out my pages... WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? This happened before too! I only wanted to print a black inked page yet my printer told me I had to buy color in order to print it out? Why does my printer do that? Why does it make me buy the 40 dollared color set when I'm not even going to use it? FFFFF I bet this was the company's plan. Just so we can spend money on their expensive ink. 

Now what am I going to do... tell the teacher I ran out of ink? That's such a lame and stupid excuse. He'll just think I didn't do my homework.


This also reminds me that I don't have a super angry icon on LJ... lol

So today was my first day of school. I'm a senior now and blah blah blah :|
I had no ride to school today since my mom is on a trip and my dad goes to work really early. I decided to bike to school since walking just takes too long. While I was going, I've gotten so many stares!! Seriiously, every single person who passed by me in their car stared at me. It's like they've never seen someone ride a bike before :T But, it's not like I don't understand them. No one in this city walks or bikes anywhere. The sidewalks are empty all of the time.
I'm supposed to do this every morning and afterschool for the rest of the week... I don't think I want to. It's also really hot. When I was biking back home, I nearly passed out from the heat ughhfdjal

Also, all of my friends from last year in Advanced Art moved onto AP Studio Art except for me. BAW, I'm so out of the circle now. I miss them ;A;

I get generally afraid from time to time about the same thing, my future. It sounds corny but I really do worry about it a lot. More than getting into a certain college or all the worries about friends and a social life, I worry about what I want to study. My whole life, I’ve never really had a goal or a dream of what I want to be when I want to grow up. These pointless dreams of anything art related are of no use to me and when I really seriously try and think about it, I really have no idea what I’m going to do. Okay, once I get into college, what’s going to be my major? What am I going to want to study, what would be my goal once I graduate? There’s nothing I’m specifically good at and anything I do want to study requires years of skill needed before I even enter college, which I don’t have. Also, the fact that I’m just “average” in every subject doesn’t help.
I’m just afraid I might choose something wrong and end up working somewhere I hate. But I’m even more afraid of wasting years and money, trying to decide what I even want to study on. Man, I’m lame. Everyone in my grade already knows what college they want to go to. They all know what they want to study and what they want to do when they go out of college. I’m just the one who’s undecided and has no talent.
Sorry mom and dad, I constantly fail you.

…..
On a lighter note, there was a meteor shower last night (which I found out later was called the “perseids” meteor shower). I normally don’t care much for meteor showers when my friends tell me about them but I really had nothing to do so I went to my backyard and just lied down there for about 40 minutes. I saw 3 meteors pass by and it was so cool! It was my first time looking at a meteor shower and it was really exciting. I really wanted to lie down there longer and look at more but the sounds in the bushes were kind of scaring me haha. I was also afraid of my grandma locking me out, not knowing I was outside since I shut off all of the lights.

 Oh, I discovered three things today about some things I've owned for 3+ years! ha...ha.... OTL

FIRST!
My scanner. I've had this scanner/printer for maybe 5 years or so. I first got it when I was in 8th grade and didn't think much of it other than scanning pictures quite poorly. For years I just used it to scan grainy sketches of mine so I could line it in photoshop or something. I ALWAYS always wondered how people got such clean scans. I mean, for me, whenever I scanned even clean, white paper, it would still turn out somewhat gray and it made me sad. BUT TODAY! I can't believe I missed it, but there's this huge button on the scanner program that says "brightness." HAHA I feel like such an idiot. Now, if I outlined something with my pens and scanned+adjusted the brightness, it comes out completely clean!




Yes! This is what I scanned haha. Well, sure it doesn't have an undo button like the computer xD But I always like lining things on paper rather than with a tablet because it seems um, a bit more careful? 

(lol... that horrible mistake on the arm...)





SECOND!
In addition to learning how to scan clean pictures. I learned how to edit them in photoshop so I can have layers beneath to color. This, I have ALSO have been wondering for years from other artists when they would say "lined on paper, colored on PS." I've had photoshop ever since it came with my wacom tablet, rougly 4 or 5 years ago as well. Over the years, I've gotten upgraded versions yet I never took the time to explore all of the options because... there are a lot. I simply used it for maybe coloring or adding small effects. So yeah, today I learned how to do all this stuff with it.

LASTLYYY~
After wondering about dslr cameras and reading up about them, I basically looked online for guidlines for beginners. I checked a lot of cameras and options and features that they have for different types of photographs. Honestly, a lot of stuff about dslr cameras still confuse me. Well anyway, I saw on one site that said, before just buying a dslr camera, take a lot of pictures first with your digital camera. I took my (crappy, broken sony) camera and started playing with a lot of the options and OMG there are... a lot of options on that camera. I, again, feel like such an idiot. I've had this model for years and all I've basically done with it is take pictures with one option, never bothering to explore more with it's features.

Long entry is long! I found out lot of stuff today D: But I feel like an idiot because they're simple things I should've known xD;

 I never post here because whatever I write seems boring.
When school ended a few months ago, I kind of planned to do a lot of things during the summer. Mainly just catching up on manga/anime or just general stuff I couldn't do over the school year. It gets boring really fast and I have like no one to talk to! haha D: My friends planned a beach party kind of thing this Friday but I don't want to go anymore becuase a girl who just got her lisence wants to drive 5 people to a beach which is about an hour away on a scary freeway... I told her I'm not going anymore. Baw, I'm such a paranoid anti-social.

Also, I have these books I have to read for school and I hate it.

I want a new camera. I've had this Sony one for kind of a while and there's like a problem with it. Sometimes it "breaks" on me at random times. I'd be taking pictures or something and it would just turn off. It's not he battery because even when I replace it with a full charged battery, it doesn't turn on. And then like a day later, I turn it on and it works for a bit to only do the same thing again. Sometimes I have to literally bang it on the wall for it to work. I don't know, I hate it. But having a new camera isn't such an important issue since I don't take too many pictures. But, a normal functioning one would be nice :|

 HAHHHH
AP exam scores came in the mail today! I only took one ap class, Calculus AB... Honestly, I was so worried about that class because I was the only one struggling throughout the year. Everyone who took that class had Pre-Calculus Honors and jumped into AP instead of calculus regulars. As for me, I was taking Pre-Calc REGULARS but got into AP by passing the test. It was so hard and I ended up barely scraping up a 70% by the end of the year! The exam wasn't any fun either, the questions were nothing like what we reviewed and I left half of my free response packet blank! I was praying for at least a passing score, a 3! A 4 would've been great!
BUT A 5!!!
HAPPYYY
HAPPYYYYYY
JOY


NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CALCULUS BC THIS COMING YEAR...
GLEEE

 I love taking these quizzes. Especially when they're so accurate haha

here is the quiz
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

( And here is my result )

ohoho probably everything said here is true about me

Other than that. I have my ap calc exam next week and I'm worried like heck D: That's the only class I'm struggling in and aghhh I don't know what I'm going to do. My tutor doesn't help at all and all he does is frustrate me more with the subject and try to explain a problem to me with his broken English. Le sigh.

 My friend hates me and I have no idea why. She started ignoring and avoiding me two days ago and I'm trying really hard to think what I might've done that day that ticked her off. The only thing that comes to my mind was that during lunch, I joked around saying that this guy she really likes was her boyfriend. It really was jokingly and he wasn't even around to hear what I said. I guess she took this really hard and started hating me.

I don't get it. I'm probabaly the most idiotic girl on this planet.

I think I betrayed her trust when I kind of announced that she liked this boy... But the thing that confuses me is that when I was jokingly saying that he was her boyfriend, no one even heard me besides our closest CLOSEST friends who already knew she liked him.

wtf idk fml

 So like yesterday I took my SATs for the second time. I was pretty worried but after I took it, it seemed a bit easier than the first time I took it. I hope I did at least a little bit better haha;;

But anyway, the night before I was to take the test (friday night), I had a scary dream!! So like in this dream, I was taking my SAT for the second time, like I was going to the next morning. After I took it, I got my results and I did 200 points lower than my first test! Everyone was saying how I got the exact same score as my first time (which I didn't understand) and was saying how it was hopeless for me to even try anymore OTL

I derno, it really scared me.

edit:
oh, and in that same dream. I was like online checking my DA stuff and I found someone that jacked my icon! The one I spent a while making! I was so pissed and was so ready to tell that person off! I think I woke up at this point.

I gave up hope on all of my friends.
Now all I have to do is wait until high school is over.

About 1 and a half more years to go.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

This is interesting, though I kind of expected a "very high" on paranoid disorder. I derno, I was bored, I love taking these quiz kind of things C:

So anyway uhm. I have like nothing to do anymore. I kind of quit TegakiE and I'm on a hiatus on DeviantArt. I can't remember what I did in my life before I joined TE or DA... watch tv? None of my friends wanna watch Coraline with me lol. WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SO NONOUTGOING. Well it's not like I'm any better but come onnnn 3-D glassessss D: Oh well, I'll just wait until Pixar's UP movie comes out. Apparently it's in 3-D too :D

Dude this junior requirement research paper is killing my sleep. Why am I such a procrastinator wry ; A; I just... want to freakin finish high school and live my lifeee FFFF is that so hard. And also, this week we've been taking the practice AP tests for Calculus AB and omfg they're sooo harddd I have a feeling I'm going to fail this class OTL

oh, and I got a twitter?  follow me, that is, if you want haha

 I am an emotional wreck
How come everyone sucks at trying to cheer my up.
Actually, they don't even attempt to cheer me up wtf.

don't mind me

So first semester ended and my grades were... decent... not the best. With second semester starting, I have to say it's pretty easy for now. I have to start my junior research project which I KNOW will be a pain in the butt. Also, a whole bunch of my friends took their SATs today and I'm probabaly the only one who hasn't haha I feel kind of stupid that I only took it once so far.

Um... next time I update, I should post some art... so plain here.

Oh yeah, I dug up my old Pokemon Red version and was replaying BUT I CAN'T STAND THE FACT THAT IT'S IN BLACK AND WHITE AND HAS NO SHORTCUT KEY! I was also replaying my Sapphire and continuing on with finishing my pokedex in Diamond. I want to buy FireRed and Gold version ; A; I'm such a Pokemon freak...

I dont know what else to say... SORRY LY
NEXT UPDATE WILL BE BETTER, I THINK